15 Indian Women Reveal What It’s Like To Be Unmarried In Their 30s

15 Indian Women Reveal What It’s Like To Be Unmarried In Their 30s

Just when you think that you have accomplished some of your career goals, and you look forward to the next decade in anticipation, a hell lot of dreaded questions are put to you. 

“When are you settling down?”

“Isn’t it the right age to get married?” 

Wait, does it really matter whether you are in your 20s or 30s? These women on Quora share their experiences of being in their 30s and unmarried in India.

 

I do not have to marry a rich guy to have my abroad trips. I am blessed that I have few like minded people with me who appreciate my thought process, supports my idea supporting him and make my life exciting everyday.
At the end, I feel being unmarried at 30 is a bumpy ride with lot of happiness from self accomplishments and tearful conversations. 

– Anonymous

 

Being over 30 and single doesn’t make me automatically available to men of all categories – married, married-with-kids, in-a-relationship, single-but-just-looking-for hookups, single-but-just-looking-for-one-night-stands, just-turned-18-and-looking-for-sex-education, just-turned-21-and-looking-for-sex-experimentation, just-turned-grandpa-and-looking-for-sexting and just-turned-whatever-and-looking-for-anything-sex.

– Saraswathi Chandrasekaran

 

The relatives are the deadliest people for you when you are of this age and unmarried! They have their eyes on you better than a CCTV camera itself! They always keep asking your parents about you and why aren’t you getting married and that get’s your parents frustrated and angry with you for no reason.

– Naivedhya Agrawal

 

When I am hunting for a rented apartment, I am questioned, half of the time outright rejected for being a ‘bachelor’. There are random repairs all over the house, that I do myself. I drive a car. I also ride a bike. I clean them. I get them serviced. I get my groceries. I pay my bills. Usually, for a married woman, these are a husband’s job. 

– Devangana Mandal

 

I can sneak out to a movie or a snack treat by myself. I can sit in the office and read. I get to teach post grads after college timings. I love doing that. I pay my house bills. Nobody to question that. My mother waits for me to return. She has her stories to tell. She doesn’t have to stand on stools to reach a higher placed canister. She can ask me for help. My father looks upto me for internet payments. I help him.
People look at me with quizzing eyes. Everyone keeps telling of some alliance in sympathy. The temple I cross daily… its pujari keeps telling me vrats/fasts to help me settle down.
It’s lonely sometimes. No one to share thoughts or feelings with. Being unmarried has its pros and cons. But somewhere there is also a constant tick, reminding me, that this may not last forever. So, I am enjoying this stage while it lasts :smile: 

– Smiti

 

Well, after going through the many answers on this thread, one thing is common, it’s STRESSFUL. Many girls have the courage to pick themselves up and concentrate on other things. But at times it’s not that easy.
I never cared about what the society has to say, but somewhere down the line, I wanted to have a companion in my life. And turning 28, just added to the pressure. My parents are worried but not pushy, I am lucky to have them. 

– Anonymous

 

It’s pretty frustrating. I am a 31-year-old, single girl living in a mega city with a good govt. job and a house that I have bought myself with a housing loan. I get some proposals from pitying relatives out of sympathy and asked to compromise. My parents discuss them in hushed tones.
They tell me to get married to just anyone of my choice which was not the case in my 20s. But now that I am out of league to get good proposals they are suddenly very open-minded.

Anonymous

 

When you are 30 years old and unmarried, life of isolation begins. You might be forced to share accommodation with people or pay a unjust premium or live in pathetic rat holes. Your own cozy peaceful private place doesn’t exist. Expectations of extra hours of work because your single and have nothing else to do. You become an object of pity, entertainment, or an false envy just because you are not married.
You don’t get sex when you need it. And just because you slept with someone, they believe they can interfere in your life. Being a part of the mainstream society and living against its belief and customary practices is challenging.

– Azam

 

I am 31 years old. I earn modest income of 35,000 per month. Some people tell me to get married with just any guy. I am still unmarried because I want to share my life with good man. Some people think that I’m desperate for marriage even with married man. I have seen few women being cautious and wary of my presence in front of their spouse.
When people ask about my age I hesitate to tell the truth. If I’m married I would have no problem but I’m still single so I feel bad. Whenever I see DP of friends with their babies I feel incomplete. I used to wonder why not me?

– Anonymous

 

I am working with one of the best MNCs in India. My team is small and awesome. I have close knitted friends who are my stress busters. I am able to support my parents and myself with whatever salary I get. I can go wherever I want to as I have none to answer. I have no kids so I am zero on that responsibility.
I try and maintain my health, I don’t stress about what people will say. My parents are very proud of me and they couldn’t ask for anything better. 

– Sucheta Nj

 

Why do people get married? Why do people want someone? Life can be lead alone easily. There are so many things one can do to pass his/ her time. Why do people take tension? Why one wants to handle responsibilities? Society got nothing figured out.
These were my thoughts, and I was so proud of them. The key word here is was. I thought I have life figured out. I want to be independent, don’t need anyone, wanted to roam the world, and do everything I like. However, all that starts to fade away as you grow older. Life is not meant to be lec,kd alone. 

– Anonymous

 

Being 30 and unmarried in India means you have to be prepared for questions to be answered every now and then.
But the flip side is – I am not at all unhappy. I enjoy my independence.
I have a decent earning which allows me to explore one new place anytime of the year.
I manage my household independently… My independence allows me to mingle with many people and also do focused work which makes me popular at my MNC for my abilities.
At times I do feel alone but yet I am completely alive to enjoy alone.

–  Sutapa Mishra

 

I am in the same phase of life as all of you; the only difference being I am enjoying my life thoroughly. Yes, I have been rejected by over 300 Indian men on popular Indian matrimonial sites in the past 2–3 years after I started my school. I have been to dozens of dates to meet Indian men who were disappointing or lost their curiosity for life as they aged. I am quite successful in my graduate school. I travelled to 15–20 cities in the last 2–3 years. Have met amazing people from all over the world who literally helped me to move forward in my career and personal life.
I started meeting men from other countries. Life is not what you are born with; it is what you create for yourself and nothing else matters.

– Anonymous

 

I’ve been getting proposals since I graduated. My father wanted me to study and earn before I get married. 
I’m glad I didn’t get married. I had to listen to a lot of relatives talk about a secret affair I was having (when I was single) and why I was delaying the process of holy matrimony. My parents stood by me and saw me become successful. I’m grateful I started working and earning as my Beloved Father passed away suddenly when I was 29. Overnight, I had to shoulder all the responsibilities and become the head of the family. Tending to 2 younger siblings who were still in university, paying the house rent, taking care of medical bills, groceries and hidden costs there are to run a house.

– Ra Zia

 

At 30+6 it’s wonderful :smile:
When I eat I concentrate on food, when I am in the theater I merge into the story, when I am shopping I am into selecting clothes, when I am traveling I see the codependency of nature, It was the same when I had partner(s). So nothing is missed in absence of husband. The relatives, Oh I don’t care about them. But they tend to make my mother feel that she is not fulfilling her so called parental responsibility.

– Sandipa Baidya

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